Friday, January 4, 2013

Eyes: THE Windows of The Heart


I was asked. "If i were a guy, having female 'friends' in my fb profile, what would i do?.."

*Eyes blinking for a moment, two, three..*

Seriously, i couldn't think of any answer for that.
Because i'm not a guy :)
But i do have an answer for being a MUSLIM woman..
(Wallahi i'm struggling to become better, i'm no better than any of you who reads my post now)

I remember taking few days back in few years ago, to decide and finally take the initiative to REMOVE all brothers from my fb profile for few solid reasons, i must say.(Well, our situation may be VERY different here, so pls understand that this is based on my self-inspection and self-analyze to what i believe the best for myself :) )

THE few reasons:

1. I was distracted with the comments of the brothers on my wall post- seriously, UNNECESSARY comments from them as i see it. I was like, 'ehem, i'm dealing with my sisters here, why are you here?...'

2. Guess i 'distracted' some of the brothers (I mean, seriously, why would some of them commented almost on all pics that i posted? Mm.. Didn't they have better things to do than updating my posts? Tho' they might be doing this to other people too, i didn't agree they did it here in my profile. Seriously, i didn't want to be one of the reasons for them wasting their time on fb) :(

Not to mention LOADS of messages i received from them PRIVATELY in my inbox. 
Praising, amazed by my posts and sharings over the fb...
All ignored.
Then... over a period of time, they started to ask me questions.. 
Urgh.. Was that necessary? Didn't they have GUY friends to ask?.. (0_o)

3. I really appreciate PRIVACY with my female friends, my family and close friends, i don't need these brothers to look at my profile on this. You know how unfriendly fb was back then- not much options you have to control your profile, unlike today, you can set custom/private, etc..

4. Some brothers enjoy sharing their pics. Eemm.. I'm trying to lower my gaze here (OFFLINE social life as well as ONLINE in social networking- Ukhty, fear Allah...) So, having them in my profile wasn't a help to lowering my gaze, NOT AT ALL.

At first, i added them thinking that it might ease my dakwah work since i have to deal with them on some programs, but naa... NO NEED TO. I've dealt with them enough offline. And now online? No no no.. I don't want to spend more of my time with you guys. Once our jobs are done. Khalas, they all end there. Alhamdulillah..

All in all, i don't need the unnecessary attention. Such an unnecessary distraction that unnecessarily took my time, and theirs.. :/


Some of you might think, 
"Why am i making such a BIG fuss out of this?"

Some may even ask,
"What's the big deal?"

Ohho. Hold on..
Free-mixing over the internet (especially in fb where everything is POSSIBLE),
Unrestrained and limitless posting and sharing,
Unrestrained glances/gazes over the unfiltered contents, 
The disgusting advertisements,
And more to list.....

THEY MAKE A GREAT DEAL HERE, when it comes to the matters of the heart.

Eyes--> Heart--> Iman--> Akhlaq
Haram things- disturbed/distressed/distracted/restless heart- weak iman/desentized to sins- fall short in performing ibadah/easily sinning (Wa'iyadzhubillah!)

Uhuh. They are all INTER-related.

I remember listening to a lecture on lowering gaze in islam, the scholar mentioned that "The eyes are the windows of our hearts".. Whatever that passes through our eyes will go down to the heart. If we do not observe our gazes, do not restrain them from looking to what Allah and HIS messengers salallahu 'alayh wasalam had prohibited, our heart may becomes sick and if ignored, it may get corrupted.

Read Madarij as Salikin written by Ibn Qayyim al Jawzi- Our muslim scholar on matter related to the science of the heart, things related to our faith/iman..
Learn the arrows of syaithan, their traps to mislead, distract and corrupt the sons of Adam (It's us !) from our main prupose of life..
Learn the Quran and ahadeeth, teachings of Prophet Muhammad salallahu 'alayh wasalam and the footsteps of the companions radhiyallahu 'anhum, the beautiful examples set by the wives and believing women in the past whose life testified and witnessed in history to be successful..
Listen to lectures of our scholars today on this kind of issues that they address them in a way relevant to our lives..

Story of Yusuf 'alayhi as salam (a.s)

SubhanAllah, i'm amazed with the story of Prophet Yusuf a.s who was mentioned in a sound hadeeth that he was given the beauty of the world (A very handsome prophet), used to COVER HIS FACE whenever dealing with women.

What?! Haha. That was my impression. A man covering his face from women?
Yea.. Think about it. He was taken as a slave in his YOUNG age, being a slave, who would care about him much. But he knew what fitna had he brought to the wife of Al-Aziz (as mufassirin said she had started to seduce and get his attention since the beginning but ended up forcing him to commit zina. BY FORCE- because she was ignored by Yusuf a.s).. So he knew he had the 'killing' look. He did his part to help other women to lower their gaze by covering his face, he knew he was gifted by Allah the 'killing' look. Amazing eyh?

*No wonder the friends of the wife of al aziz cut their fingers for the FIRST time seeing Yusuf a.s.. They never saw him before ! Wooaa.. He really took gooood care of himself. Amazing! MashaAllah!*

Story of Imam Asy Syafi'e rahimullah

And talking about the consequences of NOT lowering the gaze, remember imam asy syafi'e used to complain to his teacher (Waqi' if i'm not mistaken) that his memory was getting weak.. What did the teacher told him?

And the sin that caused him to have weak memory was just by accident ! He accidently looked to a woman's leg as the wind blew and exposed small part of her leg. SubhanAllah !

How about us?.. :(


More articles, video lectures and books that discussed on this and related matters by our scholars.
Do take time to learn from all these materials.. :)

Alhamdulillah. Feel so peaceful now..
*Sigh of relief*

Umm Teem

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