RM5? Wallahi it was nothing !

I had an intention this morning to do sadaqah.

But..

"Where can i ever find a miskin or a faqir here in my university?.."

Recalling on a tafseer i had on Juz 'Amma, Allah encourages us to give to the poor, needy, not just anyone around us- our friends or family members who are well fed and sustained..

I stepped out of my room, made the dua and still having the lecture on stories of ahadeeth fresh in mind (yet to be digested by the level of the understanding of the heart). I was listening to it while getting ready to class. It was talking about sadaqah and death..

Ever wondered, why people hate death so much? In fact, many try to avoid the fact that everyone shall one day die..

A muslim scholar during the time of Umayyah once explained how can a person think of or love death when their pursue in their whole life is building their dunya forgetting akhira. And how can they ever love death , return to akhira and meet Allah when all these will just destroy what they are accumulating and building in dunya?

Let me put it this way:
'We work soooooo hard to build this dunya, destroy the akhira.
Now, how can we possibly leave what is built to what is destroyed?' (Re-quoting the speaker)

:/

Wallahi, we haven't worked hard enough to build a castle in Jannah.
Not hard enough to compare to our strive, our effort in building a castle in this dunya !

Ok. Make sure i strive harder for the akhira more than what i'm working on for the dunya. So that i feel nothing to leave what i have in this dunya while feeling so excited to get what's there in the hereafter ! InshaAllah will work on this, harder.

.... Then i realized i gotta walk faster, couldn't afford to lose the bus as i couldn't walk to the kuliyyah, it's too far. I couldn't walk much- a ni'mah that Allah took away from me recently, good health. SubhanAllah..

As i was trying to cross the road, i saw the bus, it was about to leave soon!

And yea, it did, right after i crossed the road........!

Aaaaa........ (T_T)
Ok. Stop complaining. Be EARLIER next time. InshaAllah..

Saw a taxi passed by right in front of me.
I wasn't late tho but i dun want to b waiting for uncertainty- when will the next bus arrive? Allahua'alam.

I stopped the taxi.
He asked me where to go.
The uncle (driver) looked a bit reluctant when i said to my kuliyyah.

But he somehow let me in.
It was then i discovered that he was in rush too !
And he reminded me to make sure i have small change..
I opened my purse and as i'd expected, i didn't have any :(

The uncle was very kind, he said that i don't have to pay anythg then, he'll just send me.
Wallahi, that was't helping, i felt HORRIBLE.
Taking his time for free?
Oh no.
No no no..

We reached the place and i told him to wait for just a moment and rushed to nearest shop to get a smaller change.

*********************************************

I knocked the window, he opened it and i handed RM5 note to him.

"Uncle, just take this, i don't have any smaller money. Pls. Gotta rush to class"

He happily, excitedly shouted "This is a lot ! Oh thank you !"

(Our conversations were in Malay- here translated)

A lot?

I was so shock to his response.

Wallahi, RM5 is a lot?

I needed to pay him only RM3.10 actually, but really, i had only few RM50 notes with me.

While walking to my class, i was crying, thinking how insignificant RM5 is to compare to what Allah had prepared in the hereafter to HIS faithful and obedient servants..

RM5

Ya Allah, i regret. 

Next time i should just give the RM50. What's there to be afraid of to lose? :(

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Stay away !

I was so amazed with the hadeeth shared by ustaz in our halaqah tonight, when he mentioned hudzhaifah once explained to Umar the great fitan which will be faced by the muslims one day (Read: muslims here is referrring to us) involving wealth, family, children and more..

Then i started to realize how much have i been distracted with so many things in life.
So distracting that i realized some of them bring me away from Allah.

None contributing to my knowledge.
None strengthening my iman.
Nor increasing my taqwa..

Most severe, none of these 'few' draw me closer to Allah and the teachings of my beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw/pbuh)..

I admit, i myself being tested with one (or more- yet for me to realize/ discover) of these great fitan.

Advice to myself: cut all the ropes to all these useless 'rubbish' in life. :(

Allahul musta'an.

May Allah protect me from things that displease HIM.
May Allah give us strength to act upon what HE is pleased with, the most.
May Allah forgive all of our sins.
Amin.

********************************

Khalas, No more.
I want things to be pleasing to Allah, even if they appeared desirable.
Allah's and HIS messenger's pleasure is my PRIORITY. 
InshaAllah..

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